Putting my back into it.

Have been feeling a little lost at work lately. Not sure if there is a point to what I'm doing anymore. I used to be able to say I love what I do but there's increasingly less and less of it to love.

Yet i'm stuck.

If I leave, is it because I don't have the tenacity to stick it out? Has fear of failure gotten in the way? I can already see how badly it can go. And even if i do pull through, it just means that I'll probably get this shit again. Where's the win in that? What am I proving and what good will come of that? Do I need to prove that I don't suck at it? But I already know I do.

Is this negativity? Is this being weak? Is this being not hungry enough? Do I deserve to be a ne'er do well because I don't want to go through this?

Is it a cop out to leave and will I do the same at the next place I end up in?

Unfortunately, this is not something I can decide now. So for the next 2 weeks, i'm gonna put my back into this project and see if it gets better. Put finding the meaning of Life on hold while I find meaning for this next project first.

wish me luck.