Have been feeling a little lost at work lately. Not sure if there is a point to what I'm doing anymore. I used to be able to say I love what I do but there's increasingly less and less of it to love.
Yet i'm stuck.
If I leave, is it because I don't have the tenacity to stick it out? Has fear of failure gotten in the way? I can already see how badly it can go. And even if i do pull through, it just means that I'll probably get this shit again. Where's the win in that? What am I proving and what good will come of that? Do I need to prove that I don't suck at it? But I already know I do.
Is this negativity? Is this being weak? Is this being not hungry enough? Do I deserve to be a ne'er do well because I don't want to go through this?
Is it a cop out to leave and will I do the same at the next place I end up in?
Unfortunately, this is not something I can decide now. So for the next 2 weeks, i'm gonna put my back into this project and see if it gets better. Put finding the meaning of Life on hold while I find meaning for this next project first.
wish me luck.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I am an architect.
I suppose the beauty of personality tests is that they tell you who you are. Within 20 minutes you are told what type of personality you are, how you react in times of stress, how you treat your friends, what sort of job best suits you, which other famous personalities are exactly like you - answers that used to take years of experimentation and angst to arrive at, you get after answering 40 multiple choice questions.
The best part is, if you don't like the conclusions, you can always skew your answers so that you get told exactly what you want to hear.
Still, cheating aside, it is quite fun, if you remember your "history" or have saved previous results just for kicks, to see how you've changed over the few years of your quiz addiction. It is also a rather pleasant surprise to find out that you've grown into the 'type' you've always admired and aspired to be.
Personality tests or quizzes are by no means an analysis of one's character, strengths or weaknesses but going through them is like visiting a family doctor whom you used to see as a child. In a calm, reassuring voice, you are given a diagnosis of who you are what problems you may have and what you can do to fix them. If you have gotten better since your last visit, you get a sweet as your reward; if you haven't, you are a little embarrassed but other than yourself and the doctor, no one will know so it's not so bad. The best part about it, is that you can choose to be okay with being ill and not take the prescribed the bitter pill. If you're the type.
The best part is, if you don't like the conclusions, you can always skew your answers so that you get told exactly what you want to hear.
Still, cheating aside, it is quite fun, if you remember your "history" or have saved previous results just for kicks, to see how you've changed over the few years of your quiz addiction. It is also a rather pleasant surprise to find out that you've grown into the 'type' you've always admired and aspired to be.
Personality tests or quizzes are by no means an analysis of one's character, strengths or weaknesses but going through them is like visiting a family doctor whom you used to see as a child. In a calm, reassuring voice, you are given a diagnosis of who you are what problems you may have and what you can do to fix them. If you have gotten better since your last visit, you get a sweet as your reward; if you haven't, you are a little embarrassed but other than yourself and the doctor, no one will know so it's not so bad. The best part about it, is that you can choose to be okay with being ill and not take the prescribed the bitter pill. If you're the type.
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